This is from page 499 of a published novel:
"I think that sounds wonderful," [MAIN CHARACTER] admitted gratefully. "We've been living on trail meals."
"Bring your plates up, all of you," [MINOR CHARACTER] called, beckoning to the others.
[MINOR CHARACTER] seated himself across from [MAIN CHARACTER] and [MAIN CHARACTER'S FRIEND]. [PRINCESS CHARACTER] and [HEALER CHARACTER] found seats with them, while [FIGHTER CHARACTER] took his food to the other side of the table and [ANOTHER CHARACTER] followed. [CLICHE ANIMAL COMPANION] found a spot on the edge of the table, settled his leathery wings contentedly, and pulled at a piece of cheese.
Blah blah blah blah blah...
This is pretty much how the entire novel reads, and it goes for over 600 pages. This is book one of a trilogy. I will force myself to continue reading until it drives me to return to my own writing.
I swore that said "Torturing the Mouse." I must say I was in suspense waiting for the mouse to appear... *snerk*
ReplyDeleteCongratulations! You're the first one to post a comment on my blog. I was going to give you a Giant Cat Head as a prize, but I don't see any option for posting a picture in comments, so... I give to you the first ever INVISIBLE Giant Cat Head!!!!1! *oooh ahhh*
ReplyDeleteYikes! You really ARE torturing the poor muse. This novel reads just like any of mai boi's many fantasy role-playing games. Pleh!
ReplyDeleteIt's a good thing I love you, Loki. That was a really bad thing to read through.
ReplyDeleteI'm grateful you know the difference.
p.s. Congratulations. It will be fun to remember this day with you next year and the year after and... There will be ponies, one day, with long ribbons and high balloons.
ReplyDeleteYes, it does read like a role-playing game in which the characters eat a lot and drink tea and wonder about things, over-explaining everything, killing the tension and the story, page by page... It's killing me too. I'm thinking about my own unfinished stories... hee.
ReplyDelete